Epiphany Chapter 5
Part one.
By Tripolar Disorder
This is the first part of Chapter five. When I originally wrote
it, I had quite a bit of content in Chapter five. When I rewrote it,
I had already made written six and beyond, and I relized I now had an
extermely long Chapter, so I split it into two parts.
Akane was currently in class, trying her best to concentrate on
the teacher while the empty desk beside her pulled her gaze away.
Ranma had bowed out of school again, only returning once after
their father's deaths. Instead her fiancee was spending another
day as Nodoka's assistant.
Nodoka was usually gone for most of the day, returning only in
the evening. This left Kasumie, Nabiki and herself home. It had
been quiet with the lack of all the usual trouble that seemed to
follow Ranma around.
Akane was becoming concerned. Ranma was spending more and more
time as a girl, and thanks to some of professional assistants she
was now in contact with, she was starting to look and act more
feminine.
The first night, Ranma-chan had returned with an impressive tan,
the lines made it clear what gender she had gone to the beach as
that day. Nodoka had excused her from school to prevent any
teasing, leaving Ranma to spend another day with her mother, as
she continued her work.
The day after going to back to school, Ranma insisted on going
with Nodoka again. Her mother had a hard time saying no, and
when they returned that night, Ranma was sporting red hair to her
waist that had been styled and loosely curled. She was also
wearing a halter top and demin shorts. She wasn't upset like
most times she had been relegated into female attire. It seemed
her mother had a powerful effect on her personality.
Akane was casually pondering what she might come back as, when
she was interrupted by the teacher, once again returning her
attention where it should have been.
Akane and Nabiki returned home from school, finding Kasumi and
Nodoka looking at photos.
Nabiki lifted one of the table, staring at it intently. "How did
you get Ranma into a bikini?" She then craned her neck to look
down at the others. "... or dominatrix leathers, or party
dresses... or Swiss Leaderhosen?"
Nodoka chuckled softly. "I had a little help. Some of my
clients are as interested in helping Ranma get into their field
as they are furthering their own careers. Atsuko thinks Ranma is
the sweetest, brightest.."
"... most gullible girl she ever met." Interrupted Onna-Ranma as
she walked in from the kitchen, wearing tight bicycle shorts and
a thong leotard. "I think tomorrow, she's going to convince me
that I need a shot in a wedding dress." She went to remove the
material from her behind, but sighed as she knew how futile it
was.
Kasumi smiled. "We're trying to decide on some pictures for
Ranma's portfolio. Nodoka thinks that she could make a little
money posing for ads or commercials."
Akane calmly turned and left the room, unnoticed by the room.
Ranma-chan was on her way to the bath, when she noticed Akane's
clothes in the bin next to the Furo door. She quietly knocked on
the door. "Uhm, Akane. Are you in there?"
The door slid open, and Akane was wrapped in a towel. "I'm
finished now, thanks for not just walking in, though I guess it
would almost be okay now." She remarked idly as she passed by
the smaller girl.
"Whaddya mean?" Asked Ranma, confused.
"Well, you being a girl now and everything. I don't have to be
your uncute fiancee anymore." Said Akane, as she gathered up her
clothes. "At least you acting more like a normal female and not
your insane antics. You are almost tolerable now."
Ranma didn't say anything. Her gaze was still facing forward and
Akane, who was now well behind her at the outer door, could not
see her face.
Akane waited for some hotheaded reaction, then shrugged her
shoulders and left, shutting the door behind her.
She passed Kasumi walking down the hall. "Ranma's in the furo,
sis. She's acting a little quiet after we talked about her being
a girl now and all."
Kasumi polietly smiled until Akane was out of sight, before she
dashed toward the furo door, and slipped inside barely making the
door squeak.
Several hours later Kasumi came down from her room. She walked
into the dining room where Nodoka was still looking through
pictures.
"Auntie, Can we go for a walk. We need to talk."
Nodoka scanned the girl's features. It was clear that whatever
was troubling her was important.
"Of course Kasumi, lets leave now."
Kasumi was walking beside Nodoka for several blocks before she
began to speak.
"Auntie, there is one thing that I did not tell you about Ranma,
that I thought I would never have to explain."
Nodoka's features darkened considerably. "What is it Kasumi?"
"The day you found out about Ranma's curse. Do you remember that
day?"
Nodoka nodded.
"Before you recognized Ranma, you tried to comfort her. Do you
remember how she reacted. I had seen him that way before. Many
times in fact. That was not the first, and it was not the last."
Nodoka stopped. "What do you mean Kasumi? I have not seen Ranma
in such a state since.... Wait, what about that?"
Kasumi faced downward. "He did it again today. I think there is
someone we need to see."
Nodoka found that Kasumi had led her to Dr. Tofu's clinic. They
went inside and found the doctor hard at work at his secretaries'
desk reading a clinic report on bone regeneration.
"Ahem, Doctor."
He sprang to attention, and seeing his favorite female he started
acting a little goofy. his glasses fogged over and jumped up,
taking the hand of betty, his skeleton, kissing it like a
europian gentleman.
"Onno-dear we don't have time for that right now."
His glasses cleared instantly, and his pulse rate returned to
normal. He realized what he was doing, sighed, then turned
toward his guests.
"I am sorry to bother you so late, but I have brought someone you
might want to meet. Ranma's Mother."
Tofu bowed. "To what do I owe this pleasure?"
Kasumi stated flatly. "Ranma had another attack tonight."
Tofu became very serious, he ushered both women into his office,
then locked the front office doors and took down the open sign.
"How long has it been since Ranma's last attack Kasumi?" Said
the doctor, his elbows resting on his desk and his hands clasped
in front of his face.
"The day that Nodoka, Ranma's Mother, found out. She confronted
me as to Ranma's whereabouts not knowing that he was in the room
at the time. She...."
Nodoka interrupted. "I hate to interrupt Kasumi, but that was
not the last time. The day Cologne admitted to adding instant
Girl-spring water to the furo, there was an instance where Ranma
thought she was being attacked, only to realize she made a
mistake and curled up into a ball and became this zombie-like
husk. Her eyes looked hollow."
Tofu pushed up his glasses while still looking down at his desk.
"How long did it take Ranma to return to conscienceness?"
"Only a minute or two and she apoligized afterward. What is
happening to her doctor?
Tofu did not respond, instead he questioned Nodoka. "What about
the night you found out about Ranma? How did Ranma react?"
Kasumi sighed. "Nodoka tried to comfort Ranma, and it had a
negative effect. I would have thought she would have have jumped
into her mother's arms, but instead she tried to get away. She
later told me that it was because she thought if Nodoka knew the
truth, she would hate her."
"Ranma couldn't cope with the attention. She cried out and
pulled away from Nodoka and came for my protection."
"Then what happened?" Asked Tofu, intrigued by what he was
hearing.
"I confronted Kasumi about my son's location, hoping Genma had
told them as to where Ranma was buried."
Tofu asked, a confused look on his face. "Buried, as in dead?"
Nodoka nodded. "I assumed that Genma had accidently killed Ranma
years ago and was hiding the truth from me."
"Kasumi informed me as to Ranma's state of health, but said that
he was not ready to meet me because of circumstances that would
unfulfil a contract made before they left."
Tofu nodded. "The seppaku pledge. I'm aware of it."
Nodoka was surprised. "He told you?"
Tofu nodded. "I will explain, but first I would like to hear the
rest of the events of that day."
There were several moments of silence before Nodoka continued.
"When Kasumi told me this, I nearly screamed at her that wouldn't
ever acknoledge that that damned thing even existed. I just
wanted Ranma back."
"I then noticed Ranko's eyes and I knew. I recognized my baby in
Kasumi's arms despite her curse. Frightened, scared, and pained
in a way I will never forget. Those two eyes have haunted my
dreams since the day Genma took him away from me. I knew those
tear-filled blue orbs staring back at me..."
"I knew I was needed. I also realized why she had been lying in
the first place, why she was always so happy to see me, and why
she couldn't let me near her."
Kasumi gasped slightly. "So that's how you regonized him."
Tofu interrupted. "Was there a change in Ranma's behavior?"
Kasumi nodded. "Almost instantly. Ranma came to long enough to
nearly lept from me into Nodoka's embrace. She didn't let go for
a long time, crying into her mother's shoulder."
"When they finally broke apart. Ranma-chan was almost smiling
through tears.
"I see." Said the Doctor. "And what about tonight?"
"Akane said something in the furo, though she didn't realize it's
affect again. Instead of shouting back at her, Ranma had just
shut down."
"How long did it take?" He asked.
"About two hours." Answered Kasumi.
Nodoka at this was confused. "What is wrong with my son?"
Tofu laid his hands flat on desk.
"Ranma suffers from anxiety attacks. They are directly related
to a history of abuse and neglect in his childhood. He will go
into a state of shock for long periods and remain only semi-aware
of his surroundings. They are serious fits of depression, but
not unlike other known cases. The way they effect Ranma is more
rare. His attacks are so dibilitating that usually only physical
trauma or emotional care will bring him out of it."
"You can thank his father for the former. His fighting reflexes
kick in far too fast and too strongly for him to think about what
bothered him until later. I suspect Genma had much to do with
that. Ranma would suffer an attack on the road and Genma would
start beating on him to wake him up."
Nodoka and Kasumi both winced at his comment.
"What can be done about this doctor?" Asked Nodoka.
"I don't have an answer for this, Saotome-san." replied Tofu.
"Kasumi and I have searched for a solution in books and with
colleuges. They all respond similarly."
"Severe childhood emotional trauma is nearly impossible to
correct, especially coupled on the abuse incurred as a result.
Proper treatment of it's effects is the best answer. Ranma will
likely suffer from depression the rest of his life."
"When he was young he thought you hated him. He thought you sent
him away to let Genma beat on him. That and a less than loving
treatment left a lasting impact on Ranma. He hardly understands
love as an emotional concept, not to mention trust, and lashes
out at nearly everything, using only his experiences to guide
him."
"He believes that everyone hates him, well except Kasumi and I.
We spoke about you in detail, and he thought that you would hate
him too. He told me about the contract and that being a girl
only made it impossible to go home. Every time he talked about
you he would start shivering, a sign of his body unable to handle
any more of the stress."
Nodoka sat listening to Tofu's entire explanation before she
began to speak. "I think I understand. What can I do to help
her through this?"
Kasumi decided to interject. "Auntie. Ranma's years of training
were more like torture for him. All he knows is pain and
suffering. As he got older, tormenting Genma was his biggest
enjoyment. Anything he could do to get back at his father, he
exploited."
"The curse angered Genma more than it does Ranma. Ranma often
paraded around in girl's clothing and acted girlish just to annoy
him. In a way, Ranma accepted his cursed form, because it gave
him an advantage."
Tofu nodded. "Ranma's trust issue is also very severe. He
rarely will believe anything a person tells him, no matter how
sincere. For him, actions are the only thing he accepts. I
suspect that he has asked you repeatedly if you really love him,
like he needs a daily reasurance."
Kasumi and Nodoka both nodded.
Kasumi decided to add a final observation. "A few months ago I
found her in the furo, huddled in the corner. SHE had run home
from school because she didn't want others to see her emotional
state. She had been teased about being a girl and she couldn't
take it. At the time, Cologne had made Ranma's skin super
sensitive to hot water, it burned her too badly to let her change
back, so she was stuck as a female."
"I made her sleep in my room for that time, until she finally got
the cure from cologne. I didn't want either of our fathers to
know she was crying herself to sleep each night and needing
comfort each morning."
"I have taken care of him since then. Anytime he needs my help
he comes home and I try to make him feel better. He also comes
to see Tofu once a week for help dealing with the depression."
"When you came you tried to show Ranma you still loved him too.
He might be subconsciencely trying to make you happy, so you
won't stop and abandon him again. She hasn't said no to a single
thing you asked of her, has she? When you're out at work with
her, have you noticed if she hesitates if you ask her to do
anything, no matter how uncomfortable it might have been making
her?"
A look of Insight hit Nodoka. "I can usually seem to get her to
dress up, even if the model coordinator can't."
"She's doing everything you ask, hoping it makes you happy."
"Hoping you won't stop loving me." Came a wavering voice from
the windowsill.
There was onna-Ranma, tears in her eyes. She quickly crossed the
room and pulled herself into her mother's embrace.
No one spoke for quite some time, though Kasumi was balanced on
the edge of her chair, ready to add her arms to the huddle, or
snatch up the redhead if she bolted for a corner.
"Pops... always made.... I was a family shame." Ranma choked out
between sobs.
Before another word could be uttered, Nodoka laid a finger softly
over her mouth. "You father is gone now, and I am here. You
don't have to believe him anymore. I never wanted you to leave,
and I have cried over losing you. You don't need to be making me
happy, I will love you no matter what."
Ranma closed her eyes and leaned against her mother again, still
sniffling.
Tofu decided to interject. "Ranma. We were just digussing that
day in the furo during the cat's tongue incident. I think we
should explain the events comepletely, because Kasumi should not
be forced to hide the truth alone."
Ranma's eyes snapped open. "I'm ashamed of that day, wouldn't
you if you were in my place?"
Tofu shook his head. "It was a sign that you needed help Ranma.
You need to get it out in the open, where others can help."
Ranma nodded, though shakily. "Momma. You remember at Cologne's
place when I asked you if you would still love me if I was stuck
as a girl forever? I almost came close to never changing back.
I really honestly thought about it, but I didn't."
"I wondered as much dear. You told me how many times you had a
nightmare about that, and about how you were ready to kill
yourself..."
Her musing was broken as Ranma held up her right wrist and Nodoka
could see it. Faint but still visable, was a jagged scar that
went from her wrist halfway up her arm.
Kasumi hung her head while Tofu sat patiently waiting.
As Ranma brought her arm back down, she began to sob again. "I
wasn't just ready, I almost went through with it. I wanted to
end it all."
Nodoka had an even tighter grip on her female son than before.
She refused to cry however. She needed to remain calm despite
what this new revalation brought.
Tofu decided to explain. "Saotome san. Ranma had only made a
scratch using a broken piece of glass, but she changed her mind,
and then realized that she couldn't tell anyone. That is when
Kasumi found her that day. In the worst attack of depression I
have ever personally witnessed her having."
"She called me over immediately, and I dressed the wound as best
I could with Ranma being a zombie. She did not return until the
next morning, which is why Kasumi and I decided to hide her in
her room. No one in the house suspected Kasumi was lying when
she said that Ranma had left."
Nodoka had only partially caught this conversation as she was
looking into her child's eyes once again. "Know I understand the
pain and fear that has been in your eyes since your father's
death."
"If you want to be my daughter, for your happiness, I will stand
behind that decision.
Ranma continued to hug her. "I'm still trying to decide now. I
just can't give up being a man that I trained to become, so I
could go home." as she squeezed tightly, Nodoka doing the same.
Tofu's curiousity finally overwheled him. "Ranma, what happened
to your curse? I can't sense the magic anymore."
Ranma-chan turned to him. "I have control of it now. Watch."
Kasumi and Tofu were stunned as the transformation occurred
spontaneously.
"Why didn't you tell us this Ranma?" Asked Kasumi.
Ranma just hung her head.
Tofu nodded with understanding. "Akane's pet Ryoga? Or Nabiki?"
"Is this what you meant, when you said you were thinking of never
changing back Ranma?" asked Kasumi. "You gained control of it,
but you could have never told anyone and acted as though you were
trapped..."
"I almost did it, don't get me wrong. Momma promised to love me,
but I couldn't let her lose her son again. I could have, but I
didn't."
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