Snake in the Horse's Shadow By Lord Raa Disclaim-me-do: The best vegetable is pork. Part 5 Colonel Sandhurst allowed herself a small smile as she led Daniel Jackson on a little detour. "So, what do you know about Ranma?" the archaeologist asked his guide. 'Ugh, another person asking about Ranma,' the brunette thought with more than a hint of disgust. "Ranma's... well, he's not a scholar like you, Dr. Jackson." "Well, neither are Colonel O'Neill or Teal'c," Daniel replied. "True, but to be honest, he's something of a brute," Sandhurst admitted. "Still, some of the women around here like a bit of rough." "I noticed that during dinner." "Well, part of that's an act the Baroness likes to put on." "Yeah, about the Baroness..." Daniel trailed off. "Long story that I don't want to get into," the Colonel sighed. "So, tell me about yourself." "What would you like to know?" "Do you like men or women?" The bespectacled man blinked in surprise. "In what way?" Colonel Sandhurst's smile turned predatory as she turned, pretended to stumble into Dr. Jackson and knocked him onto the ground. After a moment, she landed on top of his prone form. "Oh my..." "Hey, what are you doing?" Daniel protested. "Don't be so coy, Dr. Jackson, I can tell you're an educated man. We're alone and I'm sitting on top of you." "I'm a married man!" "So?" "Daniel Jackson! Daniel Jackson!" Teal'c called out as he approached. "Yo, Daniel! You better not be..." Jack O'Neill trailed off when he saw that his friend was lying on his back with an attractive woman in a uniform that consisted of a low cut leotard and thigh-high boots straddling him. "Daniel..." "Have you found him, Sir?" Captain Carter asked as she jogged up to the clearing. "Oh..." An hour later Daniel Jackson was profusely apologising to Sam about the embrace she and the rest of SG-1 had found him in with Colonel Sandhurst. "Enough, Daniel," the blonde sighed as she hit the last symbol open the Stargate. "I know that you never intended to fool around with another woman." "I have never considered you to be the boy-play type, Daniel Jackson," Teal'c said, defending his friend. "That's 'playboy', Teal'c," O'Neill winced. He punched in the code for the iris and turned to the Baroness and her entourage. "Well, it's been interesting, Baroness." "Yes," Liante smiled, "it has, hasn't it? Well, don't be strangers, now that we know how to find each other." Ranma smiled nervously. 'At least that iris thing of theirs will keep them from just appearing and trying to find me.' "You make sure that you come back, Ranma!" Rosetta pouted cutely. "We'll see," the martial artist winked before readying the large crate of ore. Knowing that there would be tears in the eyes of his friends, Ranma strode towards the Stargate. He turned to face the tearful locals. "It's time for me to go home. Take care." SG-1 followed the Japanese man through the wormhole back to Earth. General Hammond stood in the Embarkation Room to greet the returning travellers. Colonel O'Neill was the last to arrive. "Took a bit longer than planned, did it Colonel?" the Texan asked. "Long story, Sir. Suffice to say that we've got some trinium ore for Carter and the rest of the eggheads to look at," Jack smiled. "That's good to hear." "Ahem," Ranma coughed theatrically. "Oh, and we need to let Ranma get his father home to Japan," the Colonel added after casting a quick glance towards the martial artist. "Very well," Hammond nodded. "There'll be a debriefing in 45 minutes, then we'll plan for Ranma's father to be picked up." "That's good to hear," Ranma smiled. "Now, where do you want this putting down?" "You can leave it there on the ramp, Ranma," Carter answered politely. General Hammond let out a sigh as he digested the report his flagship team had just given him. "Colonel O'Neill, why can't missions ever go to plan?" he asked rhetorically. "Never the less, I'm glad that you've all returned in one piece with the trinium ore. Now, about getting Ranma home; do you know the coordinates to the planet where Ranma's father is on?" "We do, Sir," Carter answered. She looked at her teammates for a moment before turning her attention back to the bald man. "However, Sir, I do have one question." "Go ahead, Captain." "What's going to happen to Ranma and his father?" the blonde asked. "Are they going to be allowed to go back to Japan?" "Eventually. The top brass at the Pentagon wants to keep them on base for a while," Hammond answered. "They want to know what they know and they've got to be sure that they're not going to reveal any secrets about the Stargate." "Seems unfair, Sir," Carter said." "It does, Captain, but those are the orders from on high. The President happens to agree with that decision." The following morning, Ranma was watching the dialling programme complete. "So, that's the symbol for Earth?" he asked. "The last one being the point of origin, right?" "Yes it is, Ranma," Captain Carter said as the wormhole engaged. "Sending the MALP through." Five seconds later, the MALP was sending back telemetry to the SGC's computers. "Breathable atmosphere, temperate climate, background radiation is well within safety limits," Carter relayed. "From an environmental point of view, this mission is a go, General Hammond." "Any signs of civilisation?" the bald man asked. "Nothing yet, but..." the blonde captain was cut off by the arrival of a man into the camera shot. "Pops!" Ranma shouted, instantly recognising the figure. "Can I speak with him?" "There's a speaker on the MALP," Hammond said, gesturing to a nearby microphone. "Pops! It's me, Ranma. Well, I'm not in the stupid robot, but-" "Hey, that robot isn't stupid," Carter protested. The man laughed and walked to the probe. He leaned in to the camera and waved. "¬Hello there, Son.¬" "Stay by the Stargate, Pops," Ranma said. "We can finally go home!" Genma smiled into the camera mounted on the MALP. "¬Will do, Son.¬" Ranma rushed to the Embarkation Room, not caring if he knocked anyone over and jumped through the Stargate. "Sir, permission to follow him?" Jack asked. "Granted." On the other side of the wormhole, Ranma wrapped his arms around his father. "Easy there, Son, it's only been a week," the balding man chided. He returned the hug. "Sorry, Pops, it's just... well, you know how long it's been since we've been home and now we'll be there soon." "Yeah, I know, Son, I know," Genma said as he held Ranma at arm's length. "So, who was that woman on the radio?" "That was Captain Carter," Ranma explained. "I don't think she likes me very much." "Why not? You didn't walk in on her while she was in the bath, did you?" "No," the pigtailed man shook his head. "I think it's because she's got this narrow view of the world. If she can't explain it, it freaks her out." SG-1 emerged from the wormhole, fanning out to get a better view of the immediate area. "I see," Genma smiled. "Ah, here are your friends." The balding martial artist's posture stiffened. "Why is there a Jaffa with them?" Before Ranma could answer O'Neill approached the Saotomes. "Hi, I'm Colonel O'Neill, you must be Ranma's father." "Genma Saotome," the stout man bowed politely. "So, what's with the Jaffa?" "That's Teal'c, he's with us," Jack said, flashing a winning smile and gesturing for the dark-skinned warrior to approach. "Teal'c, this is Genma Saotome. Genma Saotome, this is Teal'c." "Greetings, Genma Saotome," Teal'c bowed respectfully. "It is an honour to meet the Ha're Kek." "If you don't mind me asking, why are you with the Tau'Ri?" Genma asked. "I was convinced to join them to free my people from false gods," the Jaffa explained. "So, are you ready to come back with us?" O'Neill asked. "Ready when you are, O'Neill," Ranma said, a smile on his face. "Daniel, fire up the gate," the Colonel ordered. "You can take the Stargate if you want to, but we'll take our shuttle, if it's all the same to you," the elder martial artist said. "You've got a ship?" Jack asked. "Yeah, we've got a tel'tak," Ranma nodded. "A tel'tak would take years to reach Earth from this planet," Teal'c said. Jack O'Neill could tell by the way the Saotomes were smirking at the Jaffa's comment that they were hiding something. 'Their shuttle's probably some sort of hot rod...' "You guys don't mind if I hitch a ride, do you?" he asked. "I've never seen the inside of a tel'tak before." "Well, you did try to pimp me out when we went to see the Baroness..." Ranma teased. "You went to see the Baroness? No wonder it took you so long to find me," Genma chuckled. "Alright, if you can keep up with us, you can come with us." The Saotomes waved goodbye to Teal'c, Carter and Daniel before walking off to where their shuttle was hidden. "See you guys in a day or two," O'Neill said with a forced smile. "Err, Sir, do you think it'd be ok if I came along with you?" Carter asked. "I mean, this could be an excellent opportunity look at some technology we've not seen before." "Fine," the Colonel said. "Daniel, Teal'c, take the MALP back with you and let General Hammond know what's going on." The journey to the Saotomes' shuttle was completed in a comfortable silence. After thirty minutes, they reached a clearing. "So, where's the shuttle?" O'Neill asked, scanning the area for signs of a trap. "Just here," Gemna said as he reached into his pocket for a small device with a purple button on it. Three metres in front of the Colonel, the air shimmered and a charcoal grey ship with Goa'uld design elements appeared. "Since when did the Goa'uld have cloaking technology?" O'Neill asked Carter. "I don't think that they do, Sir," the blonde replied, licking her lips at the prospect of getting a look at the technology that powered the ship. "I never said that this was theirs," Genma said as he walked to his ship and opened the door. "Come along now, we don't have all day." "How long will it take for us to get to Earth?" Captain Carter asked. "Teal'c said that a normal tel'tak would take years." "This is no normal tel'tak," Ranma said as he followed his father into the shuttle. "Now, are you coming along or not?" "Yes, of course," the blonde smiled, causing Jack to raise an eyebrow. 'Just what's in there?' he wondered. The inside of the shuttle was lit with a diffuse, but pervasive white light. Every detail of every corner was clearly visible, much more so than the Apophis' ha'taks that they'd been on. "I like what you've done with your ship," Jack said as he admired the more tasteful décor that the Saotomes had opted for. "I found the glare you get from that much gold hurt my eyes," Genma said as he initiated the start up sequence. "And we're taking off now." The shuttle gave a small shudder as it lifted itself off the ground. The engine noise changing from a gentle hum to a whine as it struggled with the planet's gravity for a brief moment. Then the rapid ascension started and a matter of seconds later, the shuttle and its passengers were in orbit. "So then, what's the symbol for Earth again, Ranma?" "This one," Ranma said as he hit correct icon on the control panel. There was a bleeping as a Goa'uld ha'tak appeared on the radar. "It's the Goa'uld." "How did they find us?" O'Neill asked. "They might have tracked me after I went and borrowed some of their staff weapons," Genma said absently. He turned to see the look of disapproval on his son's face. "I'm sorry, I got bored. Like you've never done anything like that before." "You may have a point," the pigtailed youth sighed. He turned to Jack and Sam. "So, fight or flight?" "Flight," they replied in unison. "Flight it is," Ranma said manoeuvring the shuttle away from the Goa'uld ship. "Get us out of here and damn the gas mileage!" the Colonel barked as he saw the Goa'uld turn to follow them. "Ok. Best sit down then." The whine from engines changed pitch as they powered the hyperspace generator. For what felt like an eternity, the ship didn't seem to accelerate; instead continuing along at its sedate pace. Finally the ship shuddered violently and it entered the hyperspace window. After setting the course and speed, Ranma turned to speak with O'Neill and Carter. "I'm sure we told you to sit down." "We did," Jack said, taking a deep breath before climbing up off the floor. He held out a hand for the Captain. "Thank you, Sir," she said as she righted herself. "So, how fast are we going?" "I don't know, we just point this thing in the right direction and tell it how much to tax the engines and fuel supply," Genma said, adjusting his glasses. "But what I do know is that it's much faster than anything the Goa'uld have." "But can't you use the computer to work out the distance?" "Probably, but we don't try to understand the how or the why," the stocky man said, causing O'Neill to smile. "But how can this ship be faster than a ha'tak if its power source is so much smaller?" Carter asked. "Do you really want to know that badly?" Ranma asked with a sigh. "Fine, follow me. But if you touch anything, I'll break your hands." "How gallant of you," the blonde said sarcastically. Ranma's face remained serious. "I made a promise not to let anyone touch these engines." "Oh..." "Do you still want to take a look around?" "Carter, look with your eyes, not with your hands. That's an order," Jack said sternly. "Yes Sir," the blonde saluted. "Please, Ranma, lead the way." When they were left alone, Genma turned to the Colonel. "The rule about touching things applies to you, too." "Fair enough," Jack smiled as he took the seat next to Genma. "So, what brings you to outer space?" "Fate, destiny, an accident, a curse, the will of the gods; take your pick. You?" "The day job. I'm part of the SGC – the Stargate Command. Our job is to explore the galaxy using the Stargate network." "So, your mission is to seek out new life and new civilisations?" the balding man asked. "Sounds very Star Trek." "Yeah, only with fewer alien babes," the Colonel replied. "Speak for yourself." In the engine room, Samantha Carter was astounded by what she saw. In place of the standard naquadah reactor that powered the majority of Goa'uld technology, there sat a yellow-green crystal. It glowed gently. "That's not naquadah, is it?" "Nope." "I don't suppose you know what it is, do you?" "A gift from a friend," Ranma said enigmatically. "Now, we're about done here." "But I have so many questions! Can I at least take some photos of it?" Carter begged. "No." "But..." Ranma ushered the blonde out of the room and locked the door behind him. "No, Captain Carter, you can't take any photos of this ship. I promised not to let anyone get their hands on this technology. I told them that I'd die before I willingly let anyone get their hands on it." The Captain sighed, finally admitting defeat. "You're right, I'm sorry Ranma. So, what's next on our tour?" "The cargo bay, I want to see what Pops has brought with us." Jack decided it was best not to ask too many questions about Genma Saotome's "encounters" with alien babes, especially since he knew there'd be a good chance that Ranma's total would be even higher. Instead he opted to ask about what Genma planned to do when they got back to Earth. "Well," the stocky man said, leaning back in his chair, "Catch up with friends and family." "What are your plans for this ship?" "It's not for sale." "You're planning to give it to Japan?" Jack asked. "No. Believe me, it'd be easy to profit from this ship, but we promised that we'd do everything we could to keep it out of people's hands," Genma said. "It's a small price to pay for my life." "Oh?" "Without their help, I'd still be in Sokar's hands. Being tortured to death and then brought back in a sarcophagus gets old after the first couple of times." "Yeah, I can see that being the case," the Colonel nodded. "Of course, I do happen to have some Goa'uld tech that I'm happy to sell, to the right people for the right price," the bespectacled man smiled. Moments later, Ranma and Captain Carter entered the room. "Pops, what's with the weapons in the cargo hold?" the pigtailed martial artist demanded. "Calm down, son," Genma said. "You remember why I told you I wanted you to marry my friend's daughter? Well, that was ten years ago, I'm sure she's happily married by now. Besides, I thought that you might like the freedom to do whatever you wanted. How does becoming a doctor sound?" "I'm not a pervert!" "What?" Jack asked, blinking in surprise. "You know, like how the healers always ask you to take your clothes off, even if you've got a sore throat or if they're fixing your shoulder," Ranma explained. "There was a good reason for that, Ranma," Carter insisted. "Dr. Frasier wanted a sterile environment while she operated on you." "And the sore throat?" "In that case, it was probably a pervert," the blonde conceded. "Anyway, you seem like the sort who enjoys showing off." "Not everyone likes to see men naked," Ranma countered. "That's true," O'Neill muttered. "We're coming up to Earth, so brace yourselves," Genma said, cutting the discussion off. The two Americans braced themselves against the back wall of the bridge and took deep breaths. "Just like a high-G manoeuvre, Carter." "Yes Sir." The shuttle slowed down to a crawl, knocking the wind out of the soldiers. "You alright back there?" Ranma asked, barely having budged from his standing position next to his father. "H-how did you do that?" Jack asked. "Practice. If you think this is bad, then you should try it when you're slowing down in an atmosphere. That's a rough ride." After a taking a moment, the Colonel climbed to his feet and looked out the window. The Earth was taking up a large portion of the view. Genma swivelled round in his chair. "So, where can we drop you off?" "Well, we'd like to talk to you about a few things first," Jack said. "You want us to keep the Stargate program a secret? I think we can manage that," Ranma snorted. "We'll just tell people we've been out of the country." "But we have so many questions for you. Please. For me," Carter asked. When she saw that her pleas weren't getting her anywhere, she remembered one of Ranma's weak points. "There'll be food!" "Alright, we'll do it. Tell us where to drop the rings and we'll have lunch," Genma smiled. "Rings?" "Yeah, you don't think we're stupid enough to risk someone stealing our ship, do you?" the pigtailed youth chuckled mockingly. "You do have a point," O'Neill conceded. "Carter, you do the honours, I'll phone home." To be continued... Pre-read by Chi Vayne and previewed on various intertubes.
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Snake in the Horse's Shadow
Chapter 05: Chapter 5
By: Lord Raa