Sailor Santa - Christmas with Friends

Warning: This is a Christmas special so it's a oneshot and crazy as can be. Inspired by FLCL, Love Hina Christmas Carols, myself, Ranma, Rudolf the Red Nose reindeer and a film I can't remember.

Disclaimer: Only the combination of ideas belongs to me! You hear me?

And so this is Christmas and Ranma's not there.

He walking down the road again.

...

[This ain't a Songfic, sorry]

It was Christmas, people were merry, staying with friends and family. But not him. After last year's disastrous party, which he had gotten blamed for, it was decided - by Akane, the fathers and the rivals - that Ranma was not supposed to be there. Pointed out in very colourful words. Ranma had grit his teeth and left. The only ones he gave something to, were Kasumi, on the way out, and Nodoka, given to Kasumi for safe keeping.

He spent the last few hours till darkness roofhopping through Nerima. Even Nuku Nuku had managed to catch a break today. She was cute and had invited him over to her place, but she was a cat. He politely sent her off after receiving an unusually gentle hug 'Are you okay?', a peck on the lips, 'WTF?' and an invitation to celebrate with her and her family. Ranma decided not to dwell on that, he wasn't cringing every time he saw her and her hugs were affectionate and not so dangerous as Shampoo's were. He was still pondering asking if she was engaged to him or not. Better not let the feline out of the bag.

Ranma blinked, the reindeer with the red nose standing opposite him blinked back. A reindeer was weird, but this was in Nerima; a reindeer with a glowing red nose was even weirder, but again on par with Nerima. Having the reindeer with a glowing red nose standing on the roof of a four story building with a 'you are late' expression gave Ranma a really bad, bad feeling, not the one coming with a new fiancée, but more like some crazy Martial Arts challenge. Maybe the nose was a good indication.

"You here to challenge me with drunken-fu?"

Yes, reindeer could facefault. "No, that hurt, I am here for a business proposition."

Ranma sat down, this was new "You can fly"

Wasn't really a question, but it still nodded.

"There are bells in your antlers and you have a red collar with fluffy white fur on it."

"It ain't a collar" the reindeer replied with the nose glowing even stronger "Besides it comes with the job"

"I knew it, what did pops, Genma, do to piss Santa off?"

"He stole all your presents and sold them, was not a good boy and the list is longer than the Tokyo phone book, if you want all the specifics."

Ranma was sitting wide eyed, he knew it was bad, but this bad? "Oh my"

"By the way Ranma my name is Rudolf"

"So the song was true?"

"Not really, I met him in a bar."

"Oooohhhh"

"We want your help: in Hinata we are attacked by mini tanks and high-tech turtles and the whole inn is filled with traps, usually of the high explosive type. In Juuban there are some trigger happy Senshi that think that everything with a magical signature unlike theirs is dangerous." Rudolf sighed.

Ranma nodded, yes he was familiar with the concept of trigger happy people. 'Akane, Ryoga, the Kuno's, old perv, Mousse, Taro, ... is my life really that bad?'

"Yes it is, that's why we want you to help us and enjoy a night away from everyone, it won't be easy but we will give you some powers and you distribute presents in those two places so we can take on the rest of the world."

Ranma thought about it for a moment and nodded, he had most of the night free anyway, and he had heard that there were demons in Juuban, where the Senshi were supposed to be. Maybe he could get to fight a demon.

"There will be 15 attacks, if you want to take them on it might help the Senshi to have Christmas with their families."

"I'll do it, ... you will turn me into something won't you? Will I get my own reindeer?" Ranma asked.

Rudolf grinned, it looked weird on a reindeer "Her name is Yuki, she is an elf usually but turns into a reindeer on Christmas for some unknown reason."

Ranma nodded at least someone who understood what changing meant.

"Just put on the cap and you will change"

Ranma put on the cap that had suddenly appeared on the antlers, and changed, clothing dissolved, his form blurred, clothing appeared and Ranma faded back into existence. "What the hell?"

Rudolf shook his head "This was not supposed to happen, no you were supposed to only be an elf!"

"Like that would work" a new voice said.

As they turned towards the newcomer she managed to grin and said "Jusenkyo has a weird sense of humour" Turning to Ranma she bowed, again looking weird on a reindeer and introduced herself, "Hello I'm Yuki and I will be your helper tonight, Sailor Santa and her magical mascot?"

Ranma groaned but grinned afterwards. "At least no one will know who I am this way."

------

Seeing people with animals was not something new. The animal being a reindeer was different, but still possible in Alaska or some other northern countries. The girl on the animal was weird too, a weird cross of a Sailor Senshi Fuku and the Santa Claus uniform. The shape was from the Fuku, the colours and decoration were Santa-themed. It was bright red, the gloves and the hem of the skirt were decorated with white fur. She had a collar made of white fur and a Santa cap on her head, a long one with a two bells on the end. The boots were bright red and had hems of fur, even the shoelaces were white and furry. At least they were not high heels even if it was more than Ranma was used to. The description of the two ended with the bag hanging over Ranma's shoulder and her sitting on Yuki.

That they were partly flying, partly roofhopping was the last thing that should be mentioned.

"Woah, I never thought that just appearing in a Fuku could stop a crime." Ranma was baffled.

Yuki smirked "So we are in Juuban now, want to roofhop or ride me some more."

Ranma blanched "Don't say it like that. I'll hop along"

"As you wish Mistress"

"Stop it"

Does that remind you of somebody?

------

Usagi sneezed and eyed Luna, the cat was too calm, today was supposed to be a free day, not hunting down Youma and such. But noooo... Luna had pointed out that they always attacked on Christmas and Amy confirmed it moments later. Oh yes there would be a reckoning.

"Moon tiara Attack"

"Mars Flame Sniper"

"Reindeer Stampede"

"Oak Revolution"

"Earth Shakin ..."

The earth really shook, and that one attack had sounded weird. Even the seven Youma turned towards the newcomer.

There she stood, in a Santa Claus Fuku, just add some lights and it would look even cuter. At least that's what Usagi thought. Hmm, weren't those ears a bit a long? "Oh you are one of Santa's little helpers! You are an elf, I've always wanted to meet an elf, is this your reindeer, what's its name? Are you here to help us? And why is the shaking getting stronger?" Try saying all that without taking a breath.

Sailor Santa pointed behind her, at a horde of reindeer emerging from the shadows running full tilt at the Youma. A real stampede.

"Oh shit." one managed to say then the wave was upon them.

A quick trampling later the streets were empty except for three dissolving Youma bodies.

"I'm Yuki, she's Sailor Santa." the reindeer introduced herself.

"You can't trust them!" Luna cried out from the shadows, a few of the reindeer had nearly (5 meters) stepped on her.

"Earth Shaking" "Mars Flame Sniper" Only two of the Senshi attacked.

Ranma and Yuki avoided the attacks easily. "Buried by a Pine Tree" Ranma sang and made a throwing motion.

Uranus didn't bother to try to avoid the attack since the hand had been empty. That the attack might come from straight above never crossed her mind. Being buried under a 4 meter tall tree hurt especially since the needles seemed to ignore the Senshi protective magic.

Ranma turned to Rei "Have a Gift" and pulled a parcel out of the bag and handed it to Sailor Mars suddenly appearing in front of her.

Surprised she took the gift out of reflex. Sailor Santa jumped back. All others threw themselves to the ground and away from the team member after seeing the word 'Acme' on the box.

#BOOM# went the parcel and the hot Senshi stood there covered in sooth and dazed.

Yuki and Sailor Santa giggled. "Now for the real part" Sailor Santa said ignoring the muffled protests from beneath the pine tree. "Uranus aka Haruka gets the tree, it's with roots so planting it in the garden works."

Minako giggled and found herself under scrutiny "Minako or Venus, of a scroll full of advice that works."

The girl blinked "What?"

Sailor Santa blinked as she read from her scroll "'How to get a man truly deserving of me', Makoto or Jupiter gets one too. But you also get the disc-man you were eyeing." Minako smiled and got a parcel and a scroll.

Makoto was next "The scroll and ... wow." Ranma held the parcel in her hands. "The real knife set they use for Martial Arts Cooking (guaranteed to survive Akane's cooking attempts)" Makoto was pleasantly surprised that thing was expensive. Being a good girl paid off after all, it seemed.

"Michiru or Neptune, healing cream for your lover and that satin dress you thought about."

Michiru thought for a moment, the only satin dress she had lusted after was one that made he look like a vamp. "Yes that one" Michiru coloured.

"Amy or Mercury, Silver OS v2.45.3 and ..." the grin made Amy blush, it couldn't be could it? "I didn't know he was that famous." Was Sailor Santa blushing as well? "It's even signed." Amy squeaked and darted for the present, quickly stuffing it into the magic space. "Naughty aren't we? I even included a few explanations and specials"

Ranma saw Hotaru petting Yuki and decided to take Usagi next. "You get a few tickets for all you can eat places that won't complain since prices are high, and some specials."

Meanwhile Mars was back and lusting for vengeance. "Perfect, took you longer than I thought, I'll leave the stun charge away next year." Santa took a few moments to register the comment, before smiling, yes she would do it again next year, Yuki listened to her problems and if it took dressing up to get some peace and make people happy, why not? "Some meditation techniques, hmm those are good ones, to bad I can't get enough peace to use them, oh that one is great, it works really great, increasing your Ki capacities." Rei's eyes boggled, if that stuff worked it was worth more than it's weight in platinum.

"Hotaru stop spoiling Yuki for a moment and come here."

Saturn blushed and walked over, she got a plushie of herself, as Sailor Saturn, seeing Santa gape she wondered what was next, maybe wrong present. The Sailor Santa plushie was a surprise.

Yuki howling in laughter wasn't

Ranma grinned at Yuki and put her hand back into the bag, two new plushies came out "That's Yuki, she only turns into a reindeer on Christmas, she's an elf usually. That's Ranma-kun and that's Ranma-chan" Ranma said after pulling another two out. She had ignored Amy's squeak when she had said Ranma-kun.

Hotaru meanwhile had trouble holding all of them. The six plushies were quite a bit. "I'll take them and drop them at your home."

Hotaru nodded and gave them back, except for Yuki and Santa.

Ranma fidgeted for a moment "Would you guys mind signing a card for me? I know someone who is fan of you!"

"No don't!" Luna screamed and came out.

Artemis followed her and tried to stop her.

Ranma froze "I'm not running, I hate cats, but I don't fear them ..." She looked at Yuki.

Yuki shrugged "Protection magic?"

Ranma nodded "Luna, salmon. Artemis, Mackerel."

Luna wanted to say something but Artemis put her in a headlock "Don't say a word, I'm going home and waiting for Minako to return with the Mackerel, yes, I heard the capital letter and you won't take that away for me."

Luna cringed, getting between Artemis and his mackerel was nothing short of suicidal. "Okay, Usagi!" she glared at the princess in question. "Don't you dare eat eat it or I will shred whatever you got."

Ranma meanwhile was enjoying watching cats without being afraid, maybe he could finally spend time with Nuku Nuku relaxing while telling each other about their newest misadventures.

"Hotaru want to take a ride on Yuki?" Santa asked.

Hotaru nodded "May I come with you?"

Uranus opened her mouth to say something but Neptune's palm prevented any damage from occurring, a few whispered word had the space Senshi paling and nodding at her charge.

Minako meanwhile had looked into the scroll and decided that a small favour for Santa would be nice "Where do I sign?"

Ranma pulled a big card out of the bag, in the centre were the Inners, Pluto, Uranus and Neptune on the one side, Saturn on Yuki with Santa behind her hugging her from behind, an elven girl standing next to them, Yuki's normal form. The script said "For Kasumi by Sailor Santa and Yuki the reindeer."

The other Senshi signed and wrote a few comments.

"So Santa Saturn, we have much work to do! You others have a merry Christmas and a happy new year! We will take care of the Youma today." Ranma said as she put a Christmas cap on Hotaru's head and tied a few bells to the Silence Glaive.

Yuki made a steam train impression "Everyone sit down, next stop Hinata-su!"

The Senshi watched Hotaru, Yuki and Santa fly off. "We will grill her for details tomorrow, Luna is waiting for her Salmon unless Artemis killed her and hid the body." Amy said, she had to ask Hotaru if she could borrow her the Ranma-kun plushie sometime, she wondered why he had called Ranko Ranma-chan. Maybe explained in the specials?

------

Yuki headed straight for the Hinata-su, she decided to clue her passengers in on the fate awaiting them. "Suu Koalla"

"Princess of Mol-Mol, high tech geek and martial artist, the playful side." Ranma said, "Oh by the way. Hotaru, I'm Ranma, the one you have the plushies of, but don't tell Amy. I don't need her to know who Sailor Santa is. She might even want an autograph." Ranma giggled.

Hotaru blinked, that was a surprise, oh finally she could wear that 'I know something you don't smirk' Setsuna had perfected. "Okay Santa, how did you know that?"

"Magic" answered Yuki "Ranma seems to accept magic very well."

"And attract it unfortunately, unusually just trouble."

Hotaru nodded, magical trouble was never a pleasant thing.

They landed on the roof where Motoko usually trained. Yuki decided to stay behind since she was big at the moment so the two Senshi went in. After Ranma removed the traps, or led Hotaru through them, they managed to get into the hall where the tree stood. Then thing got weird "Santa Alarm, Santa Alarm" the tree blared and made a light-show worthy of a battalion of police cars.

"Got him this time!" the two heard a cry and a girl came in, guns blazing on a big metal turtle, a few rockets launched and went for the two Senshi.

"Silence Wall" Rockets met shield, rockets blew up. Other attacks were deflected as well. Meanwhile the others caught up and after seeing Shinobu of all people trying to calm Suu down they decided to help. It finally worked when Santa handed over some bananas.

Meanwhile Shinobu and Hotaru were eyeing each other closely, even though the disguise magic kept Hotaru from being remembered, they knew that they were looking pretty much like sisters.

"I'm Shinobu Maehara, pleased to meet you Saturn-san." Shinobu stammered out in a manner that would take two lines to write those few words.

"Hello Shinobu, just Saturn or Saturn-chan." Shinobu fainted and was caught by Motoko.

Mitsune smiled "She is a big fan of Sailor Saturn."

"Oh" Saturn turned to Santa "Could you ..."

Santa nodded and pulled a card out 'Merry Christmas and a happy new year, Saturn, Yuki and Santa' Hotaru was in the middle the Glaive in one hand the other around Santa. Yuki was on the side of the Glaive. Santa whistled and turned towards her bag. "Now let's see. For Mitsune Konno, Kitsune. That's some expensive sake, limited edition bottle."

"Yes!" the resident drunkard exclaimed hugging the bottle.

"Motoko Aoyama, Kama Sutra" Motoko's blush was bright enough to wake Shinobu, who fainted again once Saturn handed her the card with the real autograph. "and an evening gown and a dinner reservation for two. Oh, and I'm supposed to remind you to call your sister." Ranma frowned, she didn't need the scroll any more as she adapted to the magic but some things still didn't make sense.

"Sara Mc..." "That's me!" "A supposedly unbreakable statue and ... aren't you a bit young for something like that?" "Hey she is the best, she is supposed to be able to make tornadoes!" "I added a special and some explanations." "Are the Bikini posters inside?" "Yes" "Dork won't be able to enter my room without fainting any more." Santa decided that she didn't want to know.

"Shinobu still out of it?" everyone nodded.

"Koalla Suu!" said girl lashed out with a kick that Santa blocked, she put a small spin into her block and caught Koalla in her right arm. "A couple more bananas and some plutonium for your reactor."

"Yay, finally" she grabbed both and skipped off to her room.

"Did you say plutonium?" Keitaro Urashima asked, sweating and fearing for the inn.

"Yes, you ... 'How to build resistance to female charms'? 'A Students Guide through the Finals', 'the ultimate map of lost treasures - limited edition', you're searching for the things that find me, weird." Everyone sweatdropped but the two Senshi.

"Naru Narusegawa, ... Yes, it is what you think." Naru blushed to atomic proportions and sped off with her package.

"Ah, the sleeping princess is awake, Senshi plushies and a kiss on the cheek from us."

Saturn and Santa kissed the two cheeks at the same moment. After a few seconds Saturn decided to say as Yuki entered "I think we broke her"

Yuki snorted "At least she didn't get a nose bleed."

"Kanako, no the ears are wrong" Santa said and pulled back the hair to show elven ears. "some clothes, your style and an artbook" Kanako looked at Keitaro for a moment "yes that one" She smiled and accepted her things, ignoring the singing Kitsune.

"Haruka, a new formal tea set. Saturn did you finish reviving Mutsumi?"

"Ara, Santa is a girl." The girl with the melons said. "Want some melon?"

"Sure, here is some drink that's supposed to keep you alive and awake. As well as some new melons and their seeds."

"Kuro, Salmon, the way you like it."

"Thank you" the cat said causing most to stare at it.

"Tamago, oh there, stop circling Yuki and come here, your own tea set and those special cookies you love so much."

"Mju!"

"Glad you agree"

"Mju?"

"I usually speak cat"

"Mju."

"It is similar." Santa had to admit "So sorry but we have to go, there will be a phage attack in a few minutes and we have to stop it."

Yuki nodded "All Senshi come aboard, next stop Juuban main."

------

Many hours and presents later Ranma detransformed into a girl and added some hot water. "Thanks Hotaru I haven't had so much fun in ... can't even remember if I ever had it." Ranma admitted.

"Can I help again next year?" Hotaru asked as she too slipped out of the Senshi form. Seeing Ranma change was interesting.

"Sure, Yuki you are coming along?" Ranma asked.

"Count me in. Keep the bag and hat, you synched with them and if you ever need to you can get a fast present or transform for a power boost, even if your attacks are weird." The bottomless bag being a good example where she just made the demon disappear, probably packed for later use.

Hotaru fidgeted for a moment before she hugged Ranma. "Thank you for the fun."

Ranma stiffened for a moment but than decided that it wouldn't hurt to hug back. "Thank you for being a friend."

"You will visit me?" Hotaru asked with hope.

Ranma thought for a moment "Probably I'll be spending New Year's Eve with Nuku-Nuku want to tag along?"

Hotaru nodded.

"Yuki?"

"I'll be a pretty elven girl then!" she reminded Ranma.

"That means you will be able to eat without slobbering on the table." Ranma told her playfully.

Yuki snorted "Oh just wait you! I'll get you for that!"

Ranma helped Hotaru in getting her plushies into her room, adding them to the impressive collection.

"Ranma could you sign it?"

"huch?"

"It'll make them so jealous!" Hotaru said blushing.

"Sure!"

------

Yuki landed with Ranma on the roof they met upon. Only there was the real Santa Claus on it with the reindeer and the trolley was mostly empty of presents.

"Thank you Ranma, for the help I wanted to cure you of the Neko-ken."

"No thanks, just take the fear, if I need it I can loose myself and wake up later, I'd miss it."

Santa laughed, it was a calming sound, pleasant. "So be it. You sure you want to stay a Senshi and share their fate?"

"Be a hero when needed, aid them and protect what's important? Live forever unless I get killed? Be bound by duties more important than my life? It's like it's now, I'll outlive all the girls like Happosai or Khu Lo did their families. At least I will look young this way. There are worse things that could happen and I get the power to use it when it really counts."

"So be it." Santa smiled inside, Ranma would soon see that the real game was playing with different rules than they used in Nerima.

"We shall meet again next year Ranma" Santa laughed and Rudolf nodded.

Yuki remained behind for a bit before slobbering over his face "See you soon cutie!"

Ranma smiled as they faded into the dawn. It was the best Christmas he had ever had.

------

"So pervert, what girls did you seduce?" Akane greeted him at the breakfast table. Most of them were sleepy, but Ranma felt fresh, probably due to the magic. "And don't come for Silvester either it was so peaceful without you."

"Met the Senshi, Sumi? Here for you!" Ranma smiled and handed over the card.

Seeing Kasumi acting like a giddy school girl woke Nabiki completely, maybe their real identities were on the card. Only Nabiki could not remember the faces after seeing them, they were slipping away, probably magic. "So you spent the night with the fighters for Love and Justice?"

Akane started fuming and her hands were twitching for the mallet.

"Met them over some Youma, demon, whatever. That Sailor Santa even gave me a present."

"You pervert!" Akane screamed and attacked but Ranma wasn't there any more as he was moving towards Shampoo with a glass of water in his hand. "Moin' Puu"

"Nihao Airen. What airen doing with .. mia!"

Everyone stared, Ranma wasn't running, in fact he helped her get out of the clothes. "You won't scratch me, will you?"

"Mia, mia meow"

"Did it ever occur to you that I did that because you were clinging to me?"

"Meow?"

"Come here." Ranma took the cat and started petting her.

Shampoo meanwhile felt herself melting away, a little more and she would turn into a puddle, oozing out of Ranma's hands. She started purring.

"He mastered the Neko-ken!" Genma said and got kicked.

"You can't master it, the Neko-ken is the insanity! I'm just not afraid any more." Ranma had concentrated on Genma and looked as Nabiki tried to get the autographed card from Kasumi, a card with all autographs including the elusive Pluto was worth millions (Ranma had met her when leaving Hotaru). So Akane blind sided him and malleted him away.

Nodoka was somewhere between 'my son is so manly' and 'why did you hit Ranma'.

Cologne wondered if Ranma knowing the Senshi was a good or a bad thing.

------

A little later Ranma approached Nuku's home "Oy, Nuku!"

"Ranma!" the glomp was affectionate but not as bad as Shampoo's the enthusiasm made up for it as they both rolled a bit down the road and stopped only because a wall was in the way. "Akane-san hit you again?" she asked checking him for injuries other than the small scrapes from the now destroyed wall.

"Yes, I never gave you a present, decided to make up for it, met some cats that liked mackerel and salmon, I decided to add some tuna."

"Tuna, Nuku-Nuku loves tuna!" the cat android agreed and dragged Ranma into the house. "Hey Nuku, I'll take the invitation for new year and Silvester, a few real friends will tag along!"

"Yay, we must tell papa-san and mama-san."

"She's over?"

"Hai!"

------

Authors notes: I remember now 'We are no Angels' great film, I tried to take some of the atmosphere from it but I failed, old film but great stuff. Haven't seen anything like it made in years.

It's a one-shot, unless I add the silvester special or someone convinces me differently. The idea came two days ago when walking down a street with root (rootathell). Merry Christmas, I'll probably make a Ranma Christmas song sometime fitting to the story but that will come next year or whenever I have the time.

Frohe Weihnacht Allerseits!

Merry Christmas, everyone!

Special Thanks to: rootathell and J. St.C. Patrick for editing. Duct Tape Members for support. Sunny and Stacy for Fukufics. J. St.C. Patrick for the two fanrts (to be found on fukufics, just add www and com).